One week of perfect happiness
What should I say, where should I start… I recognize I don’t really know. The week that’s just ending has kind of change my life. On the more positive way. I realize that since I’ve left Melbourne, a big part of my travel has become a personal journey. Meetings after meetings, amazing experiences ate amazing experiences… at such a hight speed! All that make me think, and think, and think. I’m becoming an endless stream of idea, inspirations and thoughts. My brain is just bubbling every where. I just regret I didn’t have the time to write all that goes through my mind on the last few days.
Mara has been the perfect conclusion of this interior journey. Mara who lives in a world that fascinated me. A world of energy, love, spirit, sharing… always connected to earth and air. Mara and her wandering flute… yes, I’ve find in her a spiritual guide. During one week, I’ve been a continuous stream of questions. I felt so many time as a child, eager to learn everything. « why… ? ». Mara give me back a lot of question too. Trying to know my own opinion, my own way of seeing things. Our two worlds have been facing each other. I recognize that mine is more rational, more reel. But is becoming more and more a non material one. This energy, that comes from people, from places, I’ve been feeling it for a long time now. I’ve always doubt of it. Always trying to find a explanation that would please my ex scientific brain. I’ve stop doubting. I’ve stop trying to find an explanation. I’ve just accept the way it is. Everything is energy. Any scientist will confirm that. You just need to find how sensitive you are to those energies. I’m sur that Mara, and the red heart of Australia, have both been a catalyzer on me. I’m feeling more. I’m more aware. I’m more open. And I’m really interest to see how I’m going to use all that. I’m finally awake.
There are lots of truth in this world. Everyone has its own, and I thing that lots of those truth are real and accurate. I’ve been wandering around the world for quiet a while know, looking for my own truth. I don’t agree with Mara on everything. My own truth is taking its own shape slowly. Yes, I’m still a learning kid. I don’t want to be put in a box. I don’t want to become the perfect hippie. Mara is no caricature. Mara is an archetype. I take in the hippie move what I like, what I’m interested in. Specially if I discover it by myself. And I leave what I don’t like. I’m still enjoying burgers. I don’t eat any seeds, or vitamins complement. I still enjoy gluten. And the word “mushroom” still make me think of “salad”. I don’t believe in spiritual elevation using drugs. I want to be awake, but by myself, with no drug involved. I’ll go at my own speed. But I often forget my shoes when I go for a walk. Walking barefoot remind me nice childhood memories. I’ve never stopped to love sunrise and sunset, and when the moon rise, I’m often watching the horizon line.
At Wide Open Space festival, a perfect morning music (understand “dubstep”) made me practice the staff just as I woke up, just for the pleasure of doing it. I’ve started doing it again. For one week now, my day starts with half an hour of staff practicing. Some didge too, i I have the time. This morning, after a little while, I even stop using the staff, to be more free to dance. With a perfect argument: “I dancing give me so much energy, why am I only dancing from 11 PM to 2 AM ?”. I don’t do any tai chi, or morning yoga. I’ve find my own receipt. My own truth. By myself, just randomly. And I love going this way.
The week end up on a fireworks, at Barunga festival. An aboriginal culture and sport festival. Mara really wanted to come, and I liked the program. There was no reason not to come! Alex and Petrina (with whom we really had an awesome but short week) put us in contact with one of the organizer of the festival. They were looking for 2 volunteers, starting friday morning. Just perfect! And that’s how we ended up in an aboriginal community, lost in the middle of nowhere. That’s where in met Byron, from California, and Beck, from Victoria Australia. Both living in the same universe than Mara. I’ve been only the watching. But they took me under there protection, and warmly bring me in there own world. We all met each other. We are all happy. The perfect happiness that come with those magical meeting. I’ll probably meet again Beck and Byron. I really hope so. And Mara? Mara is gone. Taking a huge part of me with her. And showing me my own daemon. Funny how subconsciousness works. The daemon I though mine was gone a long ago. I had confirmation at COmest. But a new one took its place. And that will be my next goal. Get rid of this unwanted guest. I’m feeling that Australia red heart will be perfect to help me in that.
June 11th, 2012 at 7:54 am
Kaly says:Ça fait sans doute un peu plus longtemps que toi que je suis en quête, moi aussi. J’ai été attirée par toutes sortes de “philosophies” – conservons bien les guillemets, quand même.
J’ai pratiqué le yoga mais en me sentant étrangère, en rejetant certains de ses aspects.
J’ai été attentive à différents modes mystiques parmi lesquels les religions chrétiennes n’avaient pas de place. Mais trop c’est trop, j’ai besoin de ma liberté. Mon destin est écrit quelque part ? Je n’en sais rien. Et comme on me gonfle avec l’idée, je la rejette.
Je n’ai pas besoin de dogmes, même doux, même gentils.
Je me suis dit aussi qu’il ne fallait pas “jeter le bébé avec l’eau du bain”. Je me suis dit que dans tout ce que j’entrevoyais, il y avait une part qui me convenait (plutôt que dire “une part de vérité”, histoire d’éviter les polémiques ! “Elle est fraîche ma vérité, elle sent bon, elle est plus vraie que la tienne !”).
Il y a certains aspects fort troublants de l’être humain, qui ne me font pas croire en Dieu avec une majuscule tel qu’on a voulu me le faire gober, mais qui me font croire en la grandeur de l’être humain, ou plutôt des êtres vivants.
“La vie est quelque chose de bien plus grand que ce que l’on peut en percevoir”, voilà une formule qui approcherait un tout petit peu mon ressenti.
J’ai décidé de chercher en moi-même, et j’ai pour le moment simplement pris conscience que si je peux rejeter les philosophies diverses et variées que je peux rencontrer, je peux aussi faire la part des choses, et garder ce qui trouve une vraie résonance en moi. Un écho. Tout est à construire.
J’aimerais que tu sois capable d’en écrire plus sur ce que tu appelles ta quête intérieure. Que ce foisonnement, ce bouillonnement de pensées, de réflexions, tu sois capable de le coucher par écrit. Tu as sans doute tout à y gagner, l’idée, écrite, se clarifie – si on réussit à la traquer, à l’exprimer correctement !
Et puis c’est passionnant pour tes lecteurs !
Bonne continuation, bisous !